it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
