I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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