There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
