i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
