Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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