It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
