marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize