butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
