Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
