..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
