Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize