We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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