I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize