I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
