Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
