You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Randomize
