Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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