you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
