after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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