I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
