She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
