How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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