So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
whose parrot is this?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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