i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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