I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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