he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
