p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
