Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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