she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Randomize
