You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
it's great music for shaving your balls
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
