Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
