Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
