But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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