Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Found the puke drawer
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
