I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
how can u be prego again
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
