i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize