u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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