If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
