mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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