none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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