So drunk its hurt
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
