What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
