He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
