This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
