I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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