Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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