I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
