remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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