If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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