Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
