I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
