I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
In America we eat man semen.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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