Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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