New low: just hacked my moms facebook
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I looked at my own cervix.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
