Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
please come you make the beer taste better
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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