After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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