She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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