I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
