where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
