After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
