Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
