Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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