What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
